Pirate Parables
by Akai Ito
Summary: Learn the lessons of life through funny parables told by the members of the straw hats!
1. Hatred

**Hatred**

"I hate you. I just want to chop you up with your own butcher knife, cook you in garlic sauce, and feed you to Luffy." The green haired swordsman breathed heavily.

"You want to here a story before you brutally murder me" The blonde cook calmy asked after blowing a cloud of smoke.

"No. And I still hate you. And I still want to kill you." Zoro stared darkly at Sanji.

"Once there was a girl. She hated her father. She hated her mother. She hated her friends. Hell, she hated the whole world. One day she meet a boy. The girl who hated the world fell in love with that boy. Before she knew it her love for the boy was even greater than her hate for the world. Finallly the girl admitted her undying love for the boy but the boy didn't feel the same way about the girl. So the girl's heart broke into a million pieces and she died of a broken heart." Sanji finished his story and took another puff of his cigarette.

"What the hell was the point of your stupid story" Zoro seemed to get angrier if that was even possible.

Sanji gave the swordsmans a sly smile. "The more you hate, the more you love."

**Moral: The more you hate, the more you love.**


	2. One last Piece

**One last piece**

Luffy. Zoro. One last piece of pie. It was near the end of dinner and there was one piece of pie left. Luffy and Zoro both stared at the piece of pie. Each had their forks in their hands ready to strike.

"Zoro do you want to here a story" Luffy asked without taking his eyes off the pie.

"Sure." Zoro answered his stare still on the pie.

"Once there was a man. This man was a great and mighty swordsman. He had won millions of fights and he believed that he was the greatest swordsman in the world. One day this great and mighty swordsman meet a boy. This boy could stretch his body like rubber. The great swordsman challenged this boy to a fight. At first it seemed that the swordsman would surely win but in the end the boy defeated the mighty swordsman."

"What" Zoro angrily yelled. He had taken his eyes of the pie and when he finally looked up he saw Luffy swallowing the last piece of pie.

**Moral: When it comes to food never trust Luffy.**


	3. The girl who cired wolf

**The girl who cried wolf**

Usopp had just finished another one of his tall tales. Nami was feed up. She would try to teach Usopp a lesson.

"Usopp did you ever here the story of the gril who cried wolf" Nami asked polietly.

"No. Is it a good story" Usopp asked excitedly.

"Once upon a time there was a girl who liked to tell lies. One day she ran into the village and told them that a wolf was coming. Well all the villagers took their bows and got ready to fight off the wolf. Then the girl laughed and said that she only joking. The next day the girl ran into the village and told them that a wolf really was coming to the village. Again the villagers got ready to fight off the wolf. The girl laughed again and said that she was only kidding. Then the next day a wolf really was coming to the village and she ran into the village and warned everyone. But all the villagers ignored her because they didn't trust her and they all thought it was another joke. In the end the whole village was killed by the wolf."

"That _was_ a good." Usopp smiled at Nami.

"And what was the lesson" Nami asked.

Usopp smiled spread wider. "Always carry a gun"

**Moral: Always carry a gun you never know when a wolf might try to kill you.**


	4. Please!

**Please!**

"Please! Oh Please! Pleeeeease! Pretty Please!" Luffy had been trying for the last ten minutes to convice Sanji to give him some food.

"I already said no! For the hundredth time no! We need to conserve food. There's hardly any left." Sanji was getting angrier as stirred his soup.

"Please!" Luffy still didn't seem tried.

"Luffy do you want to hear a story?" Sanji would tell him a story to shut him up.

"Sure I guess. But I can have food after I hear your story?"

"No. Anyway once upon a time there was an annoying boy who could stretch himself like rubber..." Sanji started.

"Can the annoying boy have wings?" Luffy interrupted.

"Ok. The annoying boy can have wings. Well once there was an annoying who had wings and could stretch himself like rubber..." Sanji continued.

"Can he also have a flying horse?" Luffy interrupted again.

"What? He already has wings what does he need a flying horse for. Fine. Whatever you want. He can have a flying horse. There was an annoying boy who had wings and a flying horse. This boy could strecth himself like rubber. One day he was annoying an angry chef..."

"Can the boy and the chef meet in a Disco?" Luffy interrupted yet again.

"Fine. Ok. So there was this annoying boy who could stretch himself like rubber he had wings and a flying horse. One day at a Disco he annoyed an angry chef and this angry chef..."

"Can the chef have three eyes and a horn?" You guessed it. Luffy interrupted again.

"Ok. Ok. So there was this annoying boy who could strecth himself like rubber he had wings and a flying horse. One day at a Disco he annoyed an angry chef who had three eyes and a horn. The angry chef got so mad at the boy that he killed the boy and cooked him his soup." Sanji Finally finished his story.

"What a great story Sanji...Hey what's that smell?" Luffy sniffed the air.

Sanji's soup was on fire. He had overcooked it.

**Moral: If Luffy is hungry It's probably better to just feed him.**


	5. Locked Doors

**Locked Doors**

"Hey! Let me out! Sanji when I get my hands on you! Damn it! Let me out!" Zoro was trying furiously to get out of the kitchen. He had been bugging Sanji earlier and to get back at him Sanji had locked him in the kitchen.

"Don't you think you should let him out?" Nami and Sanji stood outside the door of the kitchen.

"I want to tell you a story." Sanji took another puff of his cigarette.

"Ok but after the story can't you let Zoro out?" Nami looked at the banging door.

"Well once there was this boy. This boy lived all alone in a huge mansion. In the mansion there were rows and rows of doors but there was one particular door he wanted to open. That door was the most beauiful door in the mansion. He never opend the door because he thought it was locked. But in reality it wsn't locked he never realized that instead of pulling the door towards himself, he should have pushed the door away from himself. The boy never got to see what was behind the door."

"Sanji, what exactly are you trying to say?" Nami looked at the smoking chef.

"The door locks from the inside."

**Moral: When you can't open a door make it really is locked.**


	6. Bedtime stories

**Bedtime Stories**

Nami was sick it was getting pretty late but she didn't feel sleepy at all. Then out of nowhere there came a knock at the door.

"Come in." Nami said after a terrible cough.

The door opened and Luffy entered with a stupid smile. "Nami, I thought since your sick and all that I would tell you a bedtime story!"

"Well I am having trouble sleeping." She cleared a small spot on her bed and signaled for Luffy to take a seat.

"Well once upon there was a boy named Jack. Jack lived with his two evil step brothers and step mother. His evil step brothers and mother made Jack do all the work. Then one day Jack's mother told him to sell their last cow for money. Well on his way to the market Jack meet an old man. The old man said he would give Jack a magic apple for the cow. Well in the end Jack agreed and went home. His mother wasn't very happy so she threw the apple out the window. The next day when Jack woke up there stood a giant apple next to his house. So Jack climbed the enormous apple tree. At the top there was a beautiful castle. In the Castle everyone was asleep there in the throne room was a beautiful sleeping maiden. Jack kissed the maiden. The beautiful maiden turned into a frog and all the sleeping people woke up. Everyone cheered and they all made Jack the King of their castle. The End." Luffy finished and seemed pleased with himself.

"That was a very...interesting story Luffy." Nami forced a smile on her face.

"Do you really think so? Then I'll tell you another one! Once upon a time there lived a princess..."

**Moral: Never let Luffy tell you bedtime stories.**


	7. Apple of my eye

**Apple of my eye**

"Nami, can I have your apple? Please!" Usopp asked politely. Ussop had his one the red shiny fruit in Nami's Hand.

Nami was just about to take a bit into the apple but she closed her mouth. "I'll give my apple. If you can convince me to give it to you."

"Well Can I tell you story?" Ussop asked while not taking his eyes off the fruit.

"I guess so." Nami said while waving the apple.

"Well once There was a princess named Jenny and she had a boyfriend who lived in a far away kingdom named Bobby. On Bobby's birthday Jenny had sent him a cute little puppy and a long love letter. Bobby was very unhappy about this gift so he called up Jenny. He told Jenny that he didn't want a cute puppy but he wanted rubies, emeralds, and diamonds. Well Jenny love Bobby very much so she sent him the rubies, emeralds, and diamonds to her boyfriend. When bobby saw his birthday he was very happy. In the end Jenny and Bobby got married and they lived happily ever after." Usopp concluded.

Nami stared blankly at Usopp. "And your point was?"

Usopp smiled widely. "You should share."

"But that story...it wasn't about...I mean Jenny...and Bobby didn't...O never mind. Here take it." Nami shrugged and dropped the apple into Usopp's hand.

**Moral: It's good to share**


	8. A great cook

**A Great Cook**

One afternoon Sanji and Nami were in the kitchen. Sanji was cooking and Nami was watching because she had nothing better to do. Sanji was chopping ingredients, mixing bowls,adding ingredients and doing whatever it is cooks do in the kitchen.

Nami was watching Sanji carefully. "You know Sanji I think that you should..."

"Don't speak, My love, I am a great cook and I know what exactly what I'm doing." Sanji interrupted.

Nami tried to talk to Sanji again. "But I really think that you should..."

"So that you will start trusting me I'll tell you a story about a great cook. Once upon a time people use to eat pasta with no sauce. Well in the Kingdom of Come one cook got the idea of adding a sauce on the pasta to make it taste better. So he gathered tomatoes and cheese and other ingredients. He made a delicious sauce and showed this to all the peasants in the village. Well all the people thought it was silly to put sauce on pasta and they all laughed at the chef. Well one day they King heard of the cook and his sauce. The King was interested because he loved to eat and wanted to taste new food. The Kind called for the cook and asked himn to cook for him his pasta and sauce. The cook obeyed and when the King taste this meal he thought it was the most delicous thing he ever taste. He made the cook his personal chef and the cook lived happily ever after as the King's chef." Sanji finished his story and looked at Nami.

"Now ,My Love, do you understand that a great cook like me must rely on his senses to make his food delicious." Sanji smiled sweetly at Nami.

Nami returned Sanji's smile with her own. "But if you really want your food to cook you should turn on the stove."

**Moral: Great cooks turn on the stove before cooking.**


	9. One last Piece II

**One last Piece II**

Here is was again. Luffy. Zoro. One last piece fo pie. It was nearing the end of dinner again and like before there was only one piece of pie left. Last time Luffy had outsmarted Zoro with his story. But that wouldn't happen again. Zoro had his guard on and he would finally win this round. Luffy and Zoro both with forks in their hands stared at the delicious piece of pie.

"Zoro do you want to here a story?" Luffy asked without taking his eyes off the pie.

"Sure." Zoro answered his stare still on the pie. But this time he was prepared. He wouldn't be tricked by Luffy again. He wouldn't take notice of anything that Luffy said. He would get that the piece of pie even if he had to sit there the whole night!

"Once upon a time there was a king who seized all the grain in the country and stored it in a granary. But a swarm of locusts saw where the grain had been stored. They searched for many days and finally they found a crack in the side of the granary. But that crack was only big enough fot one locust to fit in. So one locust went in and carried away a piece of grain. Then another locust went in and carried away a piece of grain. Then another locust went in and carried away a piece of grain. Then another locust went in and carried away a piece of grain...

Later...

Luffy and Zoro had been sitting at the table for a quite a while. They still had their eyes on the piece of pie. Luffy kept on saying, "Then another locust went in and carried away a piece of grain." Zoro was going crazy, if he had to hear Luffy go on with his story he'd kill himself.

"How much longer are those stupid locusts going to carry away grain!" Zoro yelled angrily. He had done it again. He had taken his eyes off the pie and as he looked up he saw Luffy was swallowing the last piece of pie.

**Moral: When food is involved you will never win against Luffy.**


	10. DO NOT OPEN!

**DO NOT OPEN!**

"It says right there that you shouldn't open it! Don't be stupid!" Nami scolded Usopp.

"But what if there is something valuable inside of it!" Usopp pleaded.

Usopp had been fishing the whole morning. When he finally thought that he had caught a fish it turned out to be a box but not just any box. It was a wooden box with the words "DO NOT OPEN! The one who opens this box be cursed to hell" written on the top.

"Valuable! What if there's something dangerous in that box! Your willing to risk your life for that!" Normally Nami would have done anything for money but she had a very bad feeling about the box. Maybe it really was cursed.

"Nothing is going to happen! Just let me open it!" Usopp begged.

"Then let me tell you a story!" Nami had to make sure that Usopp didn't open the box. "Once upon a time there lived twin girls named mischief and harmony. Mischief and Harmony lived together with their mother. Well one day their mother came home with a beautifully wrapped package. Their mother told them that they couldn't open the box until the next day. Well that night when her mother was asleep mischief woke up and decided to open the box but in the process Mischief woke Harmony. Harmony warned mischief not to open the box. Then Harmony went back to bed and told Mischief now it was up to her decide what to do. In the end Mischief opened the box. It turned out that inside the box was a birthday cake for Mischief and Harmony. Well in the morning their mother found out that Mischief had opened the box. In the end Mischief didn't get any cake and Harmony had all the cake she wanted."

"Yes your story does have a good point!" Suddenly Usopp picked up the box and started to run away from Nami.

"Hey where are you going?" Nami yelled after Usopp.

"I'm going to find Zoro and get _him_ to open the box!" Usopp yelled back.

**Moral: When DO NOT OPEN is written on something get someone else to open it. **


End file.
